We have two teeth. Woohoo! I would share a picture of my son’s teeth but he is way too wiggly for me to get a good picture of his mouth. So instead of a mouth picture I’ll show a baby picture as compensation. Who doesn’t like baby pictures?
Leo will be 7 months old in a few days. He is getting SO CLOSE to crawling. Everyone keeps telling me life will change once he’s mobile. I’m excited and frightened at the same time. It wasn’t too long ago I had such a difficult time dealing with my son I was in a very dark place. I don’t want to go there again. I would love to have more children, but at the same time I’m so afraid of what what ifs. “What if I’m in another while I’m pregnant?” “What if I have Gestational Diabetes again?” “What if I don’t make it out alive?” It’s so silly to me that I think about these things on a constant basis. It makes me feel crazy that those questions sometimes linger.
I’ve been really guilty lately of being afraid to live. Remember when there was a solar storm a couple days ago? I was scared something would happen. I still have days where I’m afraid of walking outside. The supposed end of the world on December 21st, 2012? I won’t lie: I worry about that too even as much as it has been debunked. How I view life has completely changed since May 22, 2011. Some of the change has been for the better and some of it hasn’t. I’m proud of the progress I have made but there is so much more I need to do. I really need to stop procrastinating in finding a therapist. I realized that in order for me to face my PTSD I need to face myself first. I had such a horrible experience with my first time going to someone I’m afraid of the same thing happening. A part of it I’ve been able to handle myself. With each storm that passes I get a little bit of my confidence back.
All I’ve done is place a short term bandage. I need to work on bettering myself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually long term for my family. It’s days like these where I wish my immediate family could understand the illness I have. I’m working towards not needing Wellbutrin everyday. One day I’ll be off of these pills and when I am able to I’ll be a much better person.
One day. A day at a time.