With my favorite shows finally ending for the spring or being cancelled I’m feeling kind of lost in my evenings. Now before you call me a couch potato (I prefer couch tomato. Tomatoes are sexy.) you have to hear me out. My son, bless his soul, is just like his mommy. He is a very clingy cuddly baby. He gets upset if I don’t interact with him. He has to be held a certain way or else he gets upset. This has its pluses. The good: I don’t think he hates me all that much. The bad: I can’t get anything done. I keep the television on mainly for sound. Ever since I was little I have this weird… Thing about silence. There’s something about being in a completely quiet room which freaks me out.
Before the tornado I didn’t really watch a lot of TV. Believe it or not but I use to play lots of video games. We had an Xbox 360, a PS3, and a beauuuuutiful 46″ Samsung LED/LCD 1080p HDTV. I picked it out. It had amazing specs. I use to spend hours playing Halo matchmaking and on roaming around on Final Fantasy 13. Final Fantasy 13 may have been very linear but I enjoyed it. My husband got me excited for Doctor Who. He helped me catch up the the last season. After the tornado we managed to get ourselves completely caught up at my parent’s house. I was & am still a complete computer junkie.
We lost our shiny electronics in the tornado. I don’t miss them that much. Well, every other electronic except the TV. It was the next best TV compared to the Sharp Quattron series. Being able to see RBGY (red-blue-green-yellow) makes me happy. Regardless of my PPD, I lost most interest in my electronics after my son was born. The only two pieces of electronics dear to me is my Samsung Mesmerize and this lovely laptop I’m on. I do want a nice digital camera so I can take better pictures. Someone should hint that to my husband for next Christmas. It’s mind blowing how since becoming a mother my personality has changed. I wish I could get back part of me I lost since the tornado. I wonder what my personality would be if I didn’t go through a tornado.
When we stayed with my parents all I could really do was watch TV because I couldn’t walk for a few weeks afterwards and had a hard time walking when I started to again. I missed out five years by being able to visit my parents because the person I was with during that time of my life hated my parents. This particular person was very controlling & wouldn’t let me see them. Watching TV with my parents was my way of bonding again. Now when I have my super clingy cuddly lion with me I call my mom in between commercials because we end up watching the same shows. I’m very attached to my parents. I’m not embarrassed to say I still get an Easter basket full of goodies every year. You betcha I’m doing the same with my son. No one is too old to celebrate the religious & commercial side of Easter.
Speaking of my parents, something very.. Interesting is happening. My parents have been in the same house for 12 years. They’re moving now. I wish I could talk about what happened publicly for them to move but all I’m going to say is that a conflict occurred. They are moving pretty close to me. I haven’t lived with my parents since I was 18. This is going to be pretty interesting. I never thought I would see the day I would live so close to them again. I still can’t believe they moved. I’m pretty excited because Leo gets more time with his grandparents. This will also open up a lovely opportunity for me to volunteer once a week at our local Humane Society. I have wanted to volunteer at a Humane Society since I was in high school. I am an avid animal supporter. Both of my cats were adopted. Have you seen them yet?
Freya aka Moo Moo was about to be euthanized because no one adopted her. We fell in love with each other immediately. Neko, originally called John, was at our local Humane Society for about 3 months. We couldn’t think of a better name than “John” so we decided to call him the Japanese word for Cat. Original, huh?
Every animal needs love. I feel for the ones in shelters. When I went to Pet Smart in Joplin I would visit all the pets up for adoption just to give them affection. Living in a cage seems so depressing. If I could adopt them all I would. I want to make an impact on those beautiful furbabies. I’ll try to take pictures (if I’m allowed to) when I start volunteering.
Have I mentioned yet I went mini-viral? I have almost 700 views on a video I made yesterday. The one year anniversary of the Joplin Tornado is coming up. There was a woman who stopped the Fire Department from going any further. If she wasn’t there at the right time I would have never been saved. I would be dead. I spent time in this video thanking her & hoping to get the word out to this Jane Doe that I was still alive and my son is doing great. I also took the time to thank everyone. That video ended up on a local news station, and on multiple Facebook pages. That video ended up getting the eye of a radio station.
I can’t believe it’s almost the 1 year anniversary mark. This time last year I found out Leo was a viable pregnancy then the tornado happened. This week is really rough. I want May 22nd, 2012 to hurry up and pass.
Before I end today’s blog I want to address something:
Recently I was told my blog lacks consistency, and am trying to make myself out to be a victim as why my viewership was dropping. I was advised not to complain so much. I promise each and every one of you I’m not trying to make myself a victim. And I would NEVER use my readers to gain sympathy. Technically, if you think about it, I am a victim. I am a disaster victim. I am a victim of PTSD, and a victim of PPD. Do I want your sympathy? No. I want someone to relate to and be relate-able to someone who’s going through what I am. Is a lot of my talk about my PTSD & PPD negative? You betcha. It is negative. It is nasty. It is ugly. I talk about it because I can only heal if I get it all out. If I am losing readers because they’re tired of me talking about these things then I guess it’s something I can’t control but I’m not going to hold myself back. If what I was going through was sunshine, rainbows, and butterfly’s life would be much easier. I post freebies because I like freebies. They make me happy. I want other people to be happy too. I’m not going to make a separate blog for freebies or a separate blog for product reviews. They did have a good point in I don’t post that much about my family. I have been wanting to talk more about my family and as the summer months get going I will have more pictures to post. My stepson is knee-deep in baseball & guitar recitals. We can’t go to because he lives 2 hours away & our SUV needs a new tire. I promise I will add more “positive” blogs.
If you don’t like my blog now you’re probably going to hate it more. There will be more product reviews about items I use in my life. I’m going to continue to post freebies. Until I can get over my PPD & PTSD (They are intertwined) expect me to talk about it. I haven’t conquered either of them (unless you call antidepressants a “victory”) so I don’t know how to inspire you on that.