Goodbye Long Hair

Between preparing for the Kansas City #GracoSafety event, turning Leo’s sleep schedule back around, and squee-ing in excitement over my first family photos I nearly forgot to tell you guys I made a huge change.

I haven’t had a haircut in a year in a half. The last haircut I had I wanted to continue to work growing my hair out. You see I’ve been working on growing out my hair for over three years.  I never felt comfortable with short hair on me. I felt like a little boy. I love short hair cuts don’t get me wrong. I never could rock them like I imagined myself to. I wanted to see if I could manage having long long. I never expected my locks to ever look like Taylor Swifts or Hayden Panettiere but I wanted to feel more feminine. I thought of all of the styles I could eventually pull off. My  long hair could be curly, my long hair could be straight, my long hair could do whatever I wanted it to do.

Unfortunately I don’t I’ll ever get to try.

I never took into consideration how thick my hair is. It’s super coarse.  If anyone wanted to make a waterproof coat they should look at using  my hair! My hair had gotten so long I kept it in a ponytail every day to avoid Leo using my hair as a lasso. I started noticing in the last two weeks I kept getting frequent headaches after I took my hair out of a pony tail. Have you ever had a burning sensation near the area of your head where you keep your head up? I was freaking out at this point. I almost went to WebMD to figure out what’s going on. A day before I almost scheduled an appointment with my doctor (true story) I was looking at my hair in the mirror. Then it hit me. I’ve never had my hair this long before. Could it have been that my very own hair was giving me a headache?  My husband seemed to think so. It sounded logical to him. I literally cried over the thought of having my hair short again. Every hairstylist I have went to in the past who cut my hair ended up giving me a mullet. A MULLET.  A mullet is a hair crime! I don’t like how I look but I do take a lot of pride in my hair. I was the girl in high school who always had a different hair color. You name it I was able to pull it off. I wish haircuts would be as easy as hair colors.

A couple more days passed and I was getting sick of these headaches. I knew I had to give a haircut a shot before I drove my husband crazy with worrying. On the spur of the moment I decided to go to hair salon. When I went in to get my haircut the hair stylist looked at me and then looked at my hair before asking the dreaded.”So what do we want to do today?” Here’s how the conversation went:

“Chop it all off.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m getting headaches and I need something new.”

We discussed what we would be good for my hair. I’m the type of girl who second guesses everything. I warned the woman I wanted to go short but was afraid of a mullet.  She promised me she wouldn’t do that. I decided on a bob that was shorter in the back but longer in the front. The haircut sounded cute, manageable  and would make me feel updated.  If I hated the cut I wouldn’t be too out of luck for long. My hair grows fairly fast. I went on my gut instinct. I told her to cut it as short as it needed to be.

I think back to everything my long hair has endured. My hair has endured the tornado, pregnancy, and a 9 month old baby boy. It was tired. It was frazzled. It was not manageable. In a way my hair was a reflection of what I was still holding on to. I still miss I didn’t have long hair anymore because of my own insecurities. I kept my long hair as a way to remember my past. I needed to let go of Joplin.

Having my haircut was the best decision I have made in a long time. The hair stylist did a magnificent job. I will be going back to her to keep my hair cut manageable. I am still getting use to not having as much has as I’ve had. My headaches have went away too. Goodbye burning sensation in my head. I feel like I am more of an adult than I did the last three years. I think I have my very first mom cut and I love it. Goodbye long hair.  Hello Desiree.

As you can tell I’m still working on getting Leo’s schedule back in order. I’m tired but I’m happy. My long hair has held me back for so long. Not anymore.